Friday, February 19, 2010

How Blue Can You Get?

Eighteen months ago, a great softball player and one helluva determined coach had some words of wisdom for a team he was about to leave behind. "Run hard to first base," he said, "call out the pop flys, have fun, listen to Tanya, and raise a glass to toast the team whenever possible." For the most part, the scrappy little group of part-time athletes took his advice to heart, and as a result, pulled off some impressive wins in their fifth season for the Yorkville Sports Association. On the whole, we had fun, and yes, there was plenty of glass-raising too, most recently at the banquet.

The details of our evening in Astoria are a little fuzzy this far down the road, but fortunately someone had the good sense to write down last year's awards before distributing them to the appropriate member of the Blues. They appear below as a reminder of our achievements—collective and individual—and to inspire everyone to bring the same effort and attitude back to the softball diamond this summer. Season Six is knocking, and we've got a mediocre record to defend. My advice: get some shoe polish on your cleats, start eating like a champion, and keep listening to Tanya.

Annual Oxford Blues Coed Slow-Pitch Softball Awards
Catherine "Beer Pong" Rae—Best Postgame Performance
Rachael "Tubthumping" Zimmermann—Bench Player of the Year
Michelle "Not to brag, but I'm kind of an expert when it comes to douchebags" Lipinski—Position Player of the Year
Ned "I got digits" Sears—Slide of the Year
Joe "When's the next game?" Cognard—Grand Slam Crown
Brian "I'd rather be reading" Hurley—Utility Player Award
Dan "Where's the damn team van?" Ozzi—Team Player of the Year
Andy "Cal Ripken the 3rd" Fargnoli—MVP
Ebin "Beardo" Sandler—Silver Slugger
Iain "I thought you meant swing at the first pitch" Finlayson—The Al Cascio Memorial Award
Martin "Just call me Mike Piazza" Coleman—Gold Glove
Joe "Guess who didn't lose the bat bag?" Jackson—On Base Award
Elyse "Screw the outfield, I'm joining the circus" Turr—Most Improved Player
Ninelle "Make that a beer" Silberberg—Personal Achievement Award
Dayne "Is it football season yet?" Poshusta—Rookie of the Year
Robert "Laser vision" Repino—True Blue Award
Ben "Obama's speechwriter's got nothing on me" Keene—Heart Bleeds Blue
Tanya "Wait for your pitch" Laplante—Irrepressible Optimist Award