How Blue Can You Get?

Eighteen months ago, a great softball player and one helluva determined coach had some words of wisdom for a team he was about to leave behind. "Run hard to first base," he said, "call out the pop flys, have fun, listen to Tanya, and raise a glass to toast the team whenever possible." For the most part, the scrappy little group of part-time athletes took his advice to heart, and as a result, pulled off some impressive wins in their fifth season for the Yorkville Sports Association. On the whole, we had fun, and yes, there was plenty of glass-raising too, most recently at the banquet.

The details of our evening in Astoria are a little fuzzy this far down the road, but fortunately someone had the good sense to write down last year's awards before distributing them to the appropriate member of the Blues. They appear below as a reminder of our achievements—collective and individual—and to inspire everyone to bring the same effort and attitude back to the softball diamond this summer. Season Six is knocking, and we've got a mediocre record to defend. My advice: get some shoe polish on your cleats, start eating like a champion, and keep listening to Tanya.

Fifth Annual Oxford Blues Coed Slow-Pitch Softball Awards
Catherine "Beer Pong" Rae—Best Postgame Performance
Rachael "Tubthumping" Zimmermann—Bench Player of the Year
Michelle "Not to brag, but I'm kind of an expert when it comes to douchebags" Lipinski—Position Player of the Year
Ned "I got digits" Sears—Slide of the Year
Joe "When's the next game?" Cognard—Grand Slam Crown
Brian "I'd rather be reading" Hurley—Utility Player Award
Dan "Where's the damn team van?" Ozzi—Team Player of the Year
Andy "Cal Ripken the 3rd" Fargnoli—MVP
Ebin "Beardo" Sandler—Silver Slugger
Iain "I thought you meant swing at the first pitch" Finlayson—The Al Cascio Memorial Award
Martin "Just call me Mike Piazza" Coleman—Gold Glove
Joe "Guess who didn't lose the bat bag?" Jackson—On Base Award
Elyse "Screw the outfield, I'm joining the circus" Turr—Most Improved Player
Ninelle "Make that a beer" Silberberg—Personal Achievement Award
Dayne "Is it football season yet?" Poshusta—Rookie of the Year
Robert "Laser vision" Repino—True Blue Award
Ben "Obama's speechwriter's got nothing on me" Keene—Heart Bleeds Blue
Tanya "Wait for your pitch" Laplante—Irrepressible Optimist Award

Telerep: 16, Blues: 4

A shutout it wasn't. But with last-minute substitutions, a swampy outfield, and Telerep's merciless offense aligned against them, the Blues struggled in Central Park and finally had to admit defeat after four frustrating innings.

Their opponents came out swinging from the top of the first, quickly putting six points on the board. The Blues weren't able to answer until the bottom of the second inning when a few solid hits from Andy and Ebin brought in enough runs to keep things interesting. Telerep wasn't content to simply maintain a lead however, and set about proving how well they could bat by sending the game ball on repeated trips deep into right. Things got ugly. On the plus side, Jared, who continues to shoot better and better photographs was there to offer encouragement and document much of the action.

Dejected and perhaps longing to change into dry socks, most of the team headed back to their respective apartments much earlier than usual. In spite of the loss, four Blues and one dedicated fan made it to Jake's where they discussed, among other things, the intro songs they'd like to hear during the walk from the dugout to home plate. Guess who picked "Tubthumping."

The Weather

Anxious to play after their first win of the '09 season, the Blues had to settle for an impromptu practice last Thursday and may be facing their second straight rainout tonight. If softball is in the forecast however, the Blues will face Diller's Killers at Dewitt Clinton, a field they loved to hate last year. The two games that have already been rescheduled due to weather are:

• Oxford Blues @ IBI DESTROYERS 27 July 2009 (Mon) / 7:00 PM Queensboro Oval #1 (59th St. Field)
  
• Avenue All Stars @ Oxford Blues 10 Aug. 2009 (Mon) / 7:00 PM Heckscher #1 (Central Park)
  

Blues: 19, Columbia Kings: 17

There were times when a win didn't look likely, but patience at bat and determination on the field ultimately propelled the Blues ahead of the Kings last Thursday night in Central Park. Much like last season's win, this victory was another team effort with steady base hits that led to 8 runs in the second inning and 10 more in the third. Ozzi's final home run kept Columbia at bay until the umpire called the game (in Oxford's favor) just before 7p.m.

Andy distinguished himself at the plate and in left field, earning the first Game Ball of 2009, but again, everyone contributed to a contest that resulted in the second highest score put up by the Blues in franchise history. Dayne, Joe J. and Elyse all did their best in spite of extremely poor visibility in right field, Joe C. argued with the ump, making sure all of our runs were counted, and somehow, the first baseman didn't drop a pop fly that would be the game's final out. Jared (and Tessa) arrived somewhat late but snapped quite a few nice photos as did Ebin and Abigail using my camera.

Deciding to reward themselves with the hospitality of the Bull Moose Saloon, the Blues arrived to discover that karaoke has been moved to Wednesday nights. They managed to calm down with several pitchers of draft beer.

Blues: 9, Fuel: 10

Everybody likes winning streaks. Impressive to behold and quite difficult to maintain, they are something that many teams aspire to and few achieve. Last Thursday night, on Manhattan's Upper West Side... Rae and Wright added two more wins to their beer pong record and doing so, extended a streak that stretches back to last season. The Blues, alas, were toppled by Fuel at the bottom of the seventh inning after rallying to break a 6-6 tie.

The last time these two teams met—back in the spring of 2006—the Blues left the field with heads held high, but it appears as if some rebuilding and favorable draft picks produced a more competitive opponent three years down the road. Their win did not come easily however. The Blues put the first point on the board, fell behind early on, tied the game at the top of the fifth, and took a 9-6 lead in the seventh. Rob went 3 for 4 at the plate (not half bad for a pitcher), Ozzi delivered a pair of RBIs, and Brian demonstrated the fundamentals of excellent baserunning with a textbook slide into third.

In spite of a couple of missed outs, the defense did their part too, holding Fuel to two consecutive scoreless innings. Ebin snagged a shot that came screaming down the first baseline, Dayne made a tough grab at right center, and, in a moment that will surely go down in the annals of softball, Andy and Robert pulled off an exceptional double play to escape a bases-loaded, no outs jam. Certainly a much closer contest than last season's Game Three.

Jake's cheap pitchers proved once again to be the salve that mends all wounds. Click on this handy link to see Rae's photo recap of the night.

Flashbacks and Predictions

Waiting can be an agonizing activity. Often, to spare ourselves mental anguish, we use distractions to help pass the time. So, as we wait for yet another storm front to move across the New York metro area, I thought I'd post a couple of things to take our minds off of rain outs. First, a quick stroll down memory lane, all the way back to August 2008. The setting: Astoria's Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden. The occasion: A Blues Banquet. Because of a medical emergency, Andy couldn't attend last summer's celebration and the following speech had to be delivered in absentia.

Before I say anything else, I’d like to give a shout out to Brooklyn. Secondly, I hope that many good kielbasa jokes are made this evening—I’m disappointed to be missing them. To begin, I’m grateful to receive this award and the public recognition of my tremendous talent as well as the unparalleled contributions I’ve made to the team. But for the sake of next season, I had to go to Nashville for some experimental surgery on my injured wrist.

I was going to wait to tell everyone, but then I thought it was best to inform you all now: I'm getting a Terminator arm. Although the damage didn’t seem serious at first, doctors informed me that I was close to dying. Fortunately for the Blues, the prospect of playing one more season was all the hope I needed to live long enough to become part machine.

I will be donating my award to charity to contribute to this extremely important cause because with enough awards like this one, we'll be able to see an end to broken wrists within our lifetimes. Imagine a world where your grandchild says, “Pop-pop, what's a broken wrist?” and you reply, “What the deuce?!?! No, wait… sorry, that's history.”

Remember, TIME magazine called softball injuries this millennium's bubonic plague; I’m proud to be a spokesperson in the battle against this scourge. And sure, I’m fighting the good fight one-handed at the moment, but I still think that together we can win handily. Also without getting too partisan, everyone should know that if elected to office, John McCain plans on cutting all funding for broken-wrist research. What a bastard. Finally, I’d like to thank myself for my exceptional athleticism. I’d also like to thank my parents for giving me shoddy genes and God, for making my bones so very, very brittle. Oh, and if it weren’t for Ben, I wouldn’t have broken anything in the first place.

Shifting focus to the season ahead of us, I'd like to put to rest a rumor that's been overheard in the locker room on more than one occasion. In spite of any flimsy evidence to the contrary, the Blues Organization does in fact care about the well-being of its players. No, we don't have a team van, a trainer, or even a clubhouse, but I'm very proud to announce that we've nearly secured an official baker. She's an award-winning pastry chef and, as of Monday, the proud owner of a Cuisinart Stand Mixer, complete with 1,000 watts of mixing power! Because frankly, cupcakes (OK, OK and beer) are the only fitting way to commemorate our first win of 2009.

Blues: 5, CSTV Slammers: 13

According to my copy of the Oxford English Reference Dictionary, progress can be defined as noun that means "development towards completion, betterment, etc.; improvement." And so, while I must sadly report of their loss to the CSTV Slammers on the lush lawn of the North Meadow, the Blues nonetheless personified this word last Thursday night in Central Park.

With six players donning jerseys for their first appearance of the 2009 season and a vacant infield position necessitating a move to shortstop for Hurley, the defense started off a bit shaky on Field #7. The top of the CSTV lineup didn't make things any easier either, rocketing Robert's pitches deep into the outfield, and in one case, clear into Field #8. The Blues weren't about to roll over and play dead however--quick reflexes from Michelle at second, and Ebin (that's his "magical glove" pictured above) in left field kept opposing batters to singles if they even reached a base at all. In fact, the Blues held the Slammers scoreless on multiple innings.

As predicted, the offense came alive in Game 2. Joe C., Michelle, and Ozzi each drove in RBIs to keep the heat on and the score close. Plus, except for an incident that may have involved some obstruction from a certain third baseman, the base coaches made sure that anyone with a chance to cross home plate knew when to run and when to wait. Unfortunately, Jared took the night off and no one in attendance had a functioning camera with them, so Ebin's photos from our last team practice will have to suffice this week.

After the game, a few new spectators joined most of the team at softball's home away from home on Amsterdam Avenue: Jake's Dilemma. The $10 pitcher of shots was somehow avoided--this time at least--and bleu cheese shooters didn't prove nearly as alluring to the dumb and daring, but in true Blue fashion, one competitor couldn't resist a beer pong challenge from Jake's charming clientele. Finally, let the record show that Rae does not have a bacon cold, and Ninell will drink an entire beer after our next game.

Oxford Blues: 0, EBG Bees: 12

The Blues began the 2009 season on a deceptively cool Friday evening in Thomas Jefferson Park, where they faced off against one of the best batting orders in the league. A number of fans turned up to show their support, and although a victory wasn't in the offing this time, strong defense and a determination to go seven innings kept spirits high until the game's conclusion. Said resolve can be seen on the face of one Mr. Sears above, as well as the mugs of several other veterans in Jared's photo set. Afterwards, most of the team trekked down to Brady's on 82nd and Second Avenue for pizza and cheap beer.

Andy in left field, Brian in left center, and Iain in right center, valiantly held most of the Bees to singles and doubles, and in a particularly impressive team effort, the Blues handed their formidable opponents two scoreless innings. Unfortunately the field was unforgiving and their lineup was too deep to stymie completely. Joe C managed a couple of miraculous scoops nonetheless, and Robert on the mound (wearing eye black, or "mancara" I might add) wasn't about to let anyone take a base without collecting a strike or two along the way. Having tested themselves against an infield that apparently included Usain Bolt at shortstop, the Blues will look to score their first runs this week in Central Park.

Our first choice bar, Ship of Fools, was lousy with Yankee fans, but Brady's across the street had affordable pitchers and Big Buck Hunter. Needless to say, happiness prevailed on what could have otherwise been a somewhat disappointing opener. The dedicated few who lingered past midnight should be sufficiently prepared for whatever Thursday night has in store. Those who turned in early had better hope Ozzi brings the Big League Chew next time.

2009 Schedule

After months of off-season training, weeks of speculation, a few false alarms, and an entire year to prepare ourselves mentally, we finally have a schedule. But here's the real news: the wait was worth it. Our patience has been rewarded with 11 (that's right, 11) games in Central Park. Plus, while we will almost certainly have several tough contests in late April and early May, a number of teams later in our season appear to be newcomers. Which translates into opportunity. An opportunity to improve our record. Now remember, by following some simple steps, winning a softball game can actually be accomplished quite easily. Step 1. Win a softball game. There is no Step 2.

Oxford Blues @ EBG Bees	24 Apr 2009 (Fri) / 06:30 PM	Thomas Jefferson Park - #3
Oxford Blues @ CSTV Slammers	30 Apr 2009 (Thu) / 07:00 PM	North Meadow - #7
Oxford Blues @ IBI DESTROYERS	04 May 2009 (Mon) / 07:00 PM	North Meadow - #7
Oxford Blues @ Fuel	14 May 2009 (Thu) / 05:30 PM	North Meadow - #7
Oxford Blues @ Columbia Kings	21 May 2009 (Thu) / 05:30 PM	North Meadow - #11
Avenue All Stars @ Oxford Blues	04 Jun 2009 (Thu) / 05:30 PM	North Meadow - #11
IAC/Diller's Killers @ Oxford Blues	11 Jun 2009 (Thu) / 05:30 PM	North Meadow - #11
Pirates 1 @ Oxford Blues	16 Jun 2009 (Tue) / 07:00 PM	North Meadow - #7
Telerep @ Oxford Blues	22 Jun 2009 (Mon) / 07:00 PM	North Meadow - #7
CP Lions @ Oxford Blues	01 Jul 2009 (Wed) / 05:30 PM	North Meadow - #7
The Bombers @ Oxford Blues	08 Jul 2009 (Wed) / 05:30 PM	North Meadow - #7
Oxford Blues @ Doft Punk	13 Jul 2009 (Mon) / 05:30 PM	North Meadow - #11

March Madness

In anticipation of Opening Day, the Blues made the most of early spring by visiting our preferred batting cages not once, but twice in March. We also managed to assemble a successful practice in Central Park--remembering of course, to leave ourselves enough time to sample the wings at The Kinsale Tavern (they're of the small, mild, and more than $0.25 each variety).

Besides rumors of an official scrimmage next week, there's a good chance we'll be able to test our mettle again before meeting our first opponent of the 2009 season. No word yet as to whether the official "fight song," or hip hop-style heroic poem will be completed beforehand.

Finally, for those fans and teammates who haven't been able to join us thus far, photographic evidence of our collective commitment to winning can be found here. Dear Bull Moose Saloon: you've been warned.

Happy Blue Valentine's Day

The weeks and months have flown by since the summer's "Night of a Thousand Beers" in rainy Astoria, Queens, but at long last I'm very happy to inform you that we're officially registered for another softball season, our fifth as a team. And although the Chinese Lunar Calendar may offer evidence to the contrary, we need only look within to find what we already know to be true: 2009 will be the year of the Blue.

As the adjacent photo demonstrates, we've all used the off-season to maintain a professional level of tolerance for moonshine and merriment, but let me hit you with some knowledge: those days of carefree camaraderie are numbered. That's right, Spring Training is almost upon us. Which means it's about time to stock up on glove oil, prepare the blender for some heavy mixing, and hit the weight room. Meanwhile, watch this space for an announcement about batting practice, and start visualizing victory. I can think of at least one, or two, hell, make that three people we owe it to.

Make no mistake: hard work and dedication, washed down with a pint or seven here and there will be the keys to our success. And remember, to borrow a phrase from the great Woodie Held, "Don't forget to swing hard, in case you hit the ball."