The Best of the Best

This week's post was by Dan "And Another Burger for my Friend" Ozzi. —The Editors.
 

For whatever reason, the Blues have never been invited to play in The Yorkville Sports Association’s All Star Game. Perhaps it’s because there has never before been one. Or perhaps there has been and the Blues’ record was not good enough to qualify. Kind of like when you were 9 and weren't invited to that awesome birthday party at Discovery Zone that all your friends went to. (By the way, if you’re reading this, Eugene Peleshi, I still have not forgiven you!)

But 2010 being the Year of the Blues (and according to the Chinese Zodiac, the Housecat), the All Star game had Oxford representation from 3B Joe C. and 2B Michelle. Under the sage guidance of the EBGBs’ coach, Lipinski and Joe batted back to back in the lineup, going a combined 4 for 4 and touching the plate each time.

Down a few runs in the last inning, Michelle and Joe brought the Blues’ can-drink attitude to their all star team which came back to gain the lead. Not wanting to take any chances on a blown save, this prompted the manager to call in the Mariano Rivera of 3B closers, Joe C., to close out the game at 3rd. With one out to go, a grounder down the line allowed Joe to use his gator-like gatoring to gator the ball and gator it down to first base, ending the game in a win. 

Their team was largely a sea of black and yellow, with players from EBGBs and Debevoise and Plimpton. But the Blues provided a much-needed touch of blue and white. All the league’s favorites were there, including… you know… That Large Guy on EBGBs, um… First Basewoman Repino Has A Crush On, uh… Big Calf Asian Guy. Well ok, we don’t know their names, but by the end of the game they knew ours! Several players even remarked at what an amazing rookie team the Blues are. After learning that we’ve been in the league for six seasons, there were awkward silences… and then fireworks. Maybe.

Bombers: 0, Blues: 12

This week's recap was contributed by Taylor "Tater Tot" Pilkington. —The Editors.   

Under the looming skies of Dewitt Clinton Park, the Oxford Blues recorded their third mercy rule and fifth win of the season over the REBAS Bombers by a score of 12-0. Although afternoon rains threatened to turn the infield to quicksand, not even Mother Nature could stand in the way of our intrepid heroes’ quest for victory. A little light landscaping, and the stage was set for athletic domination.

On the mound, The Pocket Rocket pitched a shutout as the Blues moved closer to clinching a playoff spot. Employing a vicious Vulcan changeup, Robtronic mowed down batters like Ozzi eating hamburgers (Jeopardy Category: Things that Happen Fast. Also a correct response: Dave’s lovemaking). Noted a source close to the Blues pitching staff: "The R-Train was making express stops today. All the way downtown, if you know what I mean. No seriously, he pitched really well. I mean, super-good, like the Michael Jordan of baseball, excluding that one time he actually did play baseball."

In truth, the game happened so quickly that it's hard to piece it back together. The Oxford bats were on fire. Dave hit an inside the park home run (aren’t they all really, in this league?) and got the game ball. Ben complained about the sorry state of large, corporate American breweries. Brian sacrificed his body to protect the unspoiled sanctity of left field. Michelle bulldozed through a player who tried to cover the plate without the ball. (Family members say he's resting comfortably at Mount Sinai Hospital; the closed-casket funeral will be held next Tuesday.) And Joe C. wore a new hat, a hot cherry red number to complement his position at the hot corner (Like David Lee Roth, a Blue knows that it’s not just winning, but looking good doing it that matters). 

After the bloodbath was over, the team retired to the Bull Moose where, along with The Best Dressed Man in New York, they made merry for many hours. Amidst the festivities, Elyse solemnly pledged to stay out all night drinking before the end of the season. Plus, Coach Laplante, Oxford's daring leader, had more than one reason to celebrate; not only did she captain the brave Blues to a commanding victory (personally dealing the death blow by scoring the 12th and final run), she also celebrated her 21st birthday and attained the dizzying career heights of Executive Editor. This called for cupcakes! Many, many cupcakes.

Another day, another win for the Blues, and for some, another step closer to Immortality. In the words of Coach Taylor: "Booyah! The team's inspirational emails paid off. Blues are positioned for playoffs! Incredible."

All Stars: 1, Blues: 21

It almost happened too fast to appreciate. And yet, after three innings, the final score told a succinct, if somewhat implausible story: the Blues had trounced their opponents in a landslide victory on Central Park's Heckscher Field #1. Naturally, their excitement was difficult to contain, even though they themselves have been on the other end of the mercy rule this season.

The two teams seemed well-matched early on, with the All Stars only down 2-1 after the first inning. But when the Blues started swinging again at the top of the second, they took a huge lead and never looked back. Their offense was certainly helped by uneven pitching from the All Stars, but dual home runs from Ned and no less than a grand slam to right from Joe C were evidence of a strong desire to finish 2009 with some wins.

Ripping a line drive into left, Ozzi contributed to the effort as well, but the umpire was not amused by his attempt to carry Tanya the final few feet to home plate and kept Oxford from adding more than four runs in the third. The infield defense held strong however, and the athletes in blue and gray threw in the proverbial towel before the game was technically over. With daylight left and energy to spare, the Blues played a quick game of seven on seven by recruiting fans "Barefoot" Ashley Wells and Abigail "Yellow Pants" Rothberg who had braved the humidity along with Tim, Julia, and Carolyn.

An hour of free draft beer and well drinks paired quite nicely with the night's historic outcome, and Andy and Ned decided to prove that they weren't done winning by controlling one of the beer pong tables at Jake's for a solid four hour stretch. Once again, Rae documented it all in photographs, using the camera that she has avoided losing for almost the entire summer now.

Diller's Killers: 22, Blues: 0

In June of 1874, the Brooklyn Mutuals, one of eight original teams in the National League, defeated the Chicago White Stockings 38-1. Chicago managed to accumulate 2 hits and 36 errors before the game ended.

Last Thursday night, in a manner not unlike that of the nineteenth century White Stockings, the Blues fell to Diller's Killers on the new, "state-of-the-art" DeWitt Clinton ballfield. Mercifully, the rain that had threatened all afternoon held off for four innings—just long enough for IAC to mercy Oxford.

Three weeks off and wet conditions did not help the Blues, who had hoped to improve their record against an old rival. They struggled on the synthetic turf, allowing the Killers to punch holes in their defense while failing to score once, in spite of putting up 19 runs against the Kings in late May. Highlights were unfortunately few, but Joe C. played like a MVP at third, and Elyse, hot off the bench, made a remarkable catch on the run in right center.

The burger and beer special on 44th Street managed to lift spirits after a tough loss, and many of those who lingered at the Bull Moose soon began looking ahead to the next game. Others found solace cheering the Red Sox to victory over New York, playing pool, obsessing about Zach Galifianakis, or consuming copious quantities of hot wings. You know who you are.

Blues: 9, Fuel: 10

Everybody likes winning streaks. Impressive to behold and quite difficult to maintain, they are something that many teams aspire to and few achieve. Last Thursday night, on Manhattan's Upper West Side... Rae and Wright added two more wins to their beer pong record and doing so, extended a streak that stretches back to last season. The Blues, alas, were toppled by Fuel at the bottom of the seventh inning after rallying to break a 6-6 tie.

The last time these two teams met—back in the spring of 2006—the Blues left the field with heads held high, but it appears as if some rebuilding and favorable draft picks produced a more competitive opponent three years down the road. Their win did not come easily however. The Blues put the first point on the board, fell behind early on, tied the game at the top of the fifth, and took a 9-6 lead in the seventh. Rob went 3 for 4 at the plate (not half bad for a pitcher), Ozzi delivered a pair of RBIs, and Brian demonstrated the fundamentals of excellent baserunning with a textbook slide into third.

In spite of a couple of missed outs, the defense did their part too, holding Fuel to two consecutive scoreless innings. Ebin snagged a shot that came screaming down the first baseline, Dayne made a tough grab at right center, and, in a moment that will surely go down in the annals of softball, Andy and Robert pulled off an exceptional double play to escape a bases-loaded, no outs jam. Certainly a much closer contest than last season's Game Three.

Jake's cheap pitchers proved once again to be the salve that mends all wounds. Click on this handy link to see Rae's photo recap of the night.